Remember that finding the right person is just the beginning of
the journey, not the destination. In order to move from casual dating to a
committed, loving relationship, you need to nurture that new connection. It's a
process that requires time, effort, and a genuine interest in the other person
as a whole. It also requires an openness to compromise and change.
All relationships change over time. You’ll change over time,
your partner will change, and so will both of your needs and expectations. What
you want from a relationship at the beginning may be very different from what
you and your partner want from that same relationship a few months or years
down the road.
For a romantic relationship to blossom into lasting love you
need to be willing and able to:
Ø Invest in the relationship. No relationship will run smoothly without
regular attention, so ask yourself if you are willing to invest the time and
effort into this relationship. Often, after the initial blush of romance has
faded, couples switch off from one another, but the more you invest in each
other, the more you grow to care. Find things you enjoy doing together and
commit to spending the time to do them, even when you’re busy or stressed.
Ø Communicate openly. Is your partner genuinely interested in
your thoughts and feelings? Are you comfortable expressing your own opinions,
thoughts, and feelings around this person? Are you playful, open, and able to
laugh together? Your partner is not a mind reader, so tell him or her how you
feel. When you both feel comfortable expressing your needs, fears, and desires,
the bond between you will become stronger and deeper.
Ø Resolve
conflict by
fighting fair. Some couples
talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately
disagree. No matter how you approach the differences in your relationship, the
important thing is that you aren't fearful of conflict. You need to feel safe
to express the things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and to be
able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on
being right.
Ø Accept change. Every relationship changes and goes through
good and bad periods, but overall a healthy relationship should continue to be
good for you. It should bring the best out in you and should not
only make you happier, but also make you a better person: kinder, more
empathic, and more generous.
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