Fear vs. Phobias

It is normal and even helpful to experience fear in dangerous situations. Fear is an adaptive human response. It serves a protective purpose, activating the automatic “fight-or-flight” response. With our bodies and minds alert and ready for action, we are able to respond quickly and protect ourselves.

But with phobias the threat is greatly exaggerated or nonexistent. For example, it is only natural to be afraid of a snarling Doberman, but it is irrational to be terrified of a friendly poodle on a leash, as you might be if you have a dog phobia.  

The difference between normal fear and a phobia
Normal fear	Phobia
Feeling anxious when flying through turbulence or taking off during a storm	Not going to your best friend’s island wedding because you’d have to fly there
Experiencing butterflies when peering down from the top of a skyscraper or climbing a tall ladder	Turning down a great job because it’s on the 10th floor of the office building
Getting nervous when you see a pit bull or a Rottweiler	Steering clear of the park because you might see a dog
Feeling a little queasy when getting a shot or when your blood is being drawn	Avoiding necessary medical treatments or doctor’s checkups because you’re terrified of needles

Normal fears in children

Many childhood fears are natural and tend to develop at specific ages. For example, many young children are afraid of the dark and may need a nightlight to sleep. That doesn’t mean they have a phobia. In most cases, they will grow out of this fear as they get older.

If your child’s fear is not interfering with his or her daily life or causing him or her a great deal of distress, then there’s little cause for undue concern. However, if the fear is interfering with your child’s social activities, school performance, or sleep, you may want to see a qualified child therapist.

Which of my child’s fears are normal?

According to the Child Anxiety Network, the following fears are extremely common and considered normal:

0-2 years – Loud noises, strangers, separation from parents, large objects.

3-6 years –  Imaginary  things such as ghosts, monsters, the dark, sleeping alone, strange noises.

7-16 years –  More realistic fears such as injury, illness, school performance, death, natural disasters.