Fact: While it’s true that
suppressing and ignoring anger is unhealthy, venting is no better. Anger is not
something you have to “let out” in an aggressive way in order to avoid blowing
up. In fact, outbursts and tirades only fuel the fire and reinforce your anger
problem.
Myth: Anger, aggression,
and intimidation help me earn respect and get what I want.
Fact: True power doesn’t
come from bullying others. People may be afraid of you, but they won’t respect
you if you can’t control yourself or handle opposing viewpoints. Others will be
more willing to listen to you and accommodate your needs if you communicate in
a respectful way.
Myth: I can’t help myself.
Anger isn’t something you can control.
Fact: You can’t always
control the situation you’re in or how it makes you feel, but you can control
how you express your anger. And you can express your anger without being
verbally or physically abusive. Even if someone is pushing your buttons, you
always have a choice about how to respond.
Myth: Anger management is
about learning to suppress your anger.
Fact: Never getting angry
is not a good goal. Anger is normal, and it will come out regardless of how
hard you try to suppress it. Anger management is all about becoming aware of
your underlying feelings and needs and developing healthier ways to manage
upset. Rather than trying to suppress your anger, the goal is to express it in
constructive ways.
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