If someone you love has a
drinking problem, you may be struggling with a number of painful emotions,
including shame, fear, anger, and self-blame. The problem may be so
overwhelming that it seems easier to ignore it and pretend that nothing is
wrong. But in the long run denying it will be more damaging to you, other
family members, and the person with the drinking problem.
Dealing with a loved one’s
alcohol problem can be an emotional roller coaster. It’s vital that you take
care of yourself and get the support you need. It’s also important to have
people you can talk honestly and openly with about what you’re going through.
A good place to start is by
joining a group such as Al-Anon, a free peer support group for families coping
with alcoholism. Listening to others with the same challenges can be a
tremendous source of comfort and support. You can also turn to trusted friends,
a therapist, or people in your faith community.
§ You cannot force someone you love to stop abusing alcohol. As much as you may want to, and as hard as it is to watch, you
cannot make someone stop drinking. The choice is up to them.
§ Don’t expect the person to stop drinking and stay sober without
help. Your loved one will need treatment, support, and new coping skills
to overcome a serious drinking problem.
§ Recovery is an ongoing process. Recovery
is a bumpy road, requiring time and patience. An alcoholic will not magically
become a different person once sober. And the problems that led to the alcohol
abuse in the first place will have to be faced.
Admitting that there’s a
serious problem can be painful for the whole family, not just the alcohol
abuser. But don’t be ashamed. You’re not alone. Alcoholism and alcohol abuse
affects millions of families, from every social class, race, and culture. But there
is help and support available for both you and your loved one.
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